Sorts of Sports

2011-12 NBA Predictions

After a prolonged offseason the Players and Owners found middle ground, put their differences aside and agreed upon a new CBA deal guaranteeing a shortened 66 game schedule of devilish NBA basketball.

Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki left his German party goers behind, Lebron's balling more-tweeting less, and Vanessa Bryant has finally lasted 10 years with Kobe which entitles her to at least half his career earnings via divorce (I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing for Celtics fans).

So without further ado let's run through some preseason notes and predictions for the upcoming season.

Boston Celtics: Doc's locked in for 5 years, Rondo still can't shoot, KG/Ray/Pierce are a year older. So what does it all mean? With 6th man Jeff Green out for the season the Celtics are relying heavily on often-injured Marquis Daniels and Jermaine O'Neal to play a full-season. Ahhh, not gonna happen! What about Brandon Bass/Chris Wilcox/Keyon Dooling? They're durable and athletic which will help, but I'm nowhere near sold on these guys pushing the Celtics past the Heat for East Supremacy.

If all goes well: Celts will manage to stay relatively healthy and secure a #3 or #4 seed in the East.

X-Factor: Chris Wilcox/Brandon Bass.

Worst case scenario: an injury plagued group limps into the playoffs and bows out first round.

Prediction: #3 seed, make one last great run and lose to Heat in East Finals. Ainge blows it up in the offseason.

10 Predictions for 2011-12 season:

1: Dwight Howard will be traded to the Lakers at the trade deadline. Nets, Celtics, Mavs, Rockets will get involved but LA will do everything in their power to acquire Dwight and regain the LA scene. Unfortunately for the Lakers they will not regain the scene until next season. Side-note- Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum will be given free season tickets to Universal Studios.

2: Kevin Durant will win another scoring title in leading the Thunder back to the West Finals. I don't think the NBA's ever seen a guy like Durant (George Gervin??)...Just a total freak of nature. But good news Portland, Greg Oden accepted your qualifying offer and should suit up at least 5 games.

3: Allen Iverson convinces Danny Ainge to sign him mid-season to help bolster the bench scoring. And strangely enough, Iverson will actually help.

4: Denver, Portland, NYK's, Tyson Chandler are all overrated. Mavs, Indy, Spurs, Celtics are all underrated. Miami, Chicago, OKC, Clippers are all really really good and properly rated.

5. Kobe sleeps with at least...... (66 games, 33 road games, 2 girls per night on the road (33x2=66) equals)......Who knows but at LEAST 167 girls during the NBA season.

6. Timberwolves will be fun to watch. Rubio, Love, DWilliams, Beasley...They finally have assets and NBA League Pass owners will catch themselves watching the Wolves on a regular basis.

7: The Nets still stink and Deron Williams will sign in Dallas next off-season. A Dwight and Deron grand opening in Brooklyn would be great, but if I'm Otis Smith (Magic GM) I'm taking the Lakers offer over New Jersey's.

8. Heat, Bulls, Celtics, Knicks, Pacers, Magic, Hawks, Philly in the East. Heat over Philly; Bulls over Hawks, Celts over Magic, Knicks over Pacers (barely). Heat over Knicks, Celtics over Bulls (upset city). Heat over Celtics in 7. Heat to finals.

9. Thunder, Clippers, Mavs, Lakers, Spurs, Memphis, Denver, Portland out West. Thunder over Portland, Clippers over Denver, Mavs over Memphis, Spurs over Lakers. Thunder over Spurs (7-game passing of the torch), Clippers over Mavs (7-games). Clippers over Thunder. Clippers first finals appearance in.........forever? Side-Note: DO NOT sleep on Chauncey's impact on this team. He'll knock down open looks all season long playing with CP3, Griffin, Butler, Jordan.

10: I hate to say it, but a shortened season with a lot of roster changes across the league bodes well for the Heat. Heat win the title, LeBron does his best impersonation of a humble person, and all the haters request an asterisk next to the Heat in the record books because of the shortened season. Heat over Clippers in 5.

League MVP: Chris Paul Runner ups: LeBron/Durant

Rookie of the year: Kyrie Irving

Coach of the year: Vinny Del Negro